The Decepticon Invasion of Japan
by isoner
Summary: G1: Chapter 4: the encounter with Excel Saga begins.
1. Setup

The usual disclaimers apply, in that I don't own the rights to Transformers. This story promises to go to some very interesting and unusual places, if one keeps with it.  
  
The Decepticon Invasion of Japan  
  
Chapter 1: The Setup.  
  
A service hatch cracked open. "Has he gone?" Dead End asked in a whisper.  
  
"Not yet," whispered the Sweep hiding next to him. Galvatron was in a bad mood, and none of his Decepticons wanted their leader to take it out on them.  
  
Galvatron marched right past the service hatch to the door at the end of the corridor. It didn't slide open quickly enough. He shoved it aside, knocking it completely off of its guides, the door would never close again.  
  
Dead End and the Sweep felt sorry for whoever was unfortunate enough to be working in the control room by the time Galvatron got there.  
  
Cyclonus guided the operations of the control room with his usual efficiency. Soundwave sat at the communications post in the shadows of the back corner, completely unnoticed by Cyclonus or anyone else. With the current state of the Decepticon Empire, no one bothered to call them, and few messages went out, leaving the old Decepticon almost forgotten.  
  
Even Soundwave was caught off guard when his station came alive with an incoming message. The message was to Galvatron, personally, and from. oh dear. A Quintisson. There was no way this would end well.  
  
Soundwave did not have to place the call on hold for long, as an irate Galvatron chose that moment to burst through the door.  
  
"Galvatron, you have a call." Soundwave said in his monotone.  
  
"Excellent, Soundwave, just the sort of diversion I need. Put them on."  
  
"Greetings Mighty Galvatron, of the Decepticon Empire," the Quintisson began.  
  
"Don't insult me by pretending we like each other. What do you want?"  
  
"We need your help."  
  
"HA! I bet you do. Go away! Bargains that start out this way with you wind up too costly in the long run," Galvatron said.  
  
"We are willing to make it worth your while."  
  
"Oh. you are desperate enough to really bargain this time are you?" Maybe this could work to the advantage of the Decepticons after all, Galvatron thought. Then he whispered to Cyclonus, "Get Swindle up here, now."  
  
He turned back to the Quint on the communications screen. "I will let an agent sort out the specifics. while we wait for him to get here, why don't you tell me exactly what you want of us?"  
  
"Very well. as you know, we once experimented with Techno Organic constructs on Cybertron."  
  
"You mean your half organic half mechanical monsters like that leech you set loose a year ago?"  
  
"Urm. yes. In addition to the experiments on your world we also had factories and labs on other worlds, including an automated research factory on Earth."  
  
"If its more leeches you can forget it."  
  
"We recently discovered that the factory on Earth is still operational. We want you to go in and shut it down. Ship it back to us, if possible, or destroy it utterly if not."  
  
"Really, and just where is this factory of yours?" Galvatron asked.  
  
"We." The Quintisons face shifted revealing one that wore and embarrassed expression. "We don't exactly know. It has been moved, but you can find it by locating the 5 components to a locator key."  
  
"You don't make this easy, do you?"  
  
"We will give you the locations of each of the parts of the locator key, as well as whatever special transport devices may be needed to reach the Key components. We will also give you the codes necessary to shut down any of the factory's products," the Quintisson concluded.  
  
"Oh, yeah? Well what will you give us in return?" Swindle asked.  
  
Galvatron smiled. Watching Swindle work out a deal with the Quints was like watching two artists work an duel with each other at the same time. He had never before seen the five faced squids squirm so much, but he was pleased with Swindle's results. Not only would the Quints supply the Decepticons with a sizeable amount of Energon, but they would do so all in advance. Once the job was complete, they would reimburse the energon operating costs of the operation. Not only that, but the Decepticons would have access to all the data and technology the organic factory had to offer.  
  
While he still disapproved of those Head and Target Masters that Cyclonus and the others had become, he could see uses for the monster technology the Quints had developed. Galvatron would never allow a monster to fight under the Decepticon banner, but he could possibly make monster shell suits for some of his less useful warriors to boost their fighting power. And with organic shells, those sentimental fools, the Autobots, would not attack. them and their misplaced love of all things organic.  
  
But once the negotiations were finished.  
  
"Decepticons. to Earth!" Galvatron called, and the Decepticon forces all boarded Scorpnok for the long flight.  
  
The set up is complete. now let the fun begin. Next. Ultraman Zearth, Japan's first line of Defense? 


	2. Galvatron Vs Ultraman Zearth

Usual disclaimers, in that I do not own the rights to Transformers or to Ultraman Zearth. More information on Ultraman is available online. I would recommend the Absolute Ultraman page. I make also make references to the original Ultraman, and Ultraseven.  
  
Chapter 2: Galvatron vs. Ultraman Zearth  
  
The giant metal scorpion flew in low across the surface of the Earth. It was watched by satellites from every nation on the planet, because it was either known or strongly suspected that the craft was Decepticon in origin. Finally its course was plotted. Its destination was Japan.  
  
In New York, Earth's Ambassador to Cybertron had a meeting with the Ambassador from Japan.  
  
"You have got to let me call the Autobots in. They are the only ones who can handle the Decepticons!"  
  
"No!" the older man replied. "We have seen the amount of collateral damage that can be caused by combat between the Autobot and Decepticon factions. We will not allow that to happen in Japan. We wish to seek a peaceful resolution to the problem."  
  
Frustrated Spike continued to argue for the rest of the day, but the Japanese position would remain firm. No Autobot involvement would be tolerated.  
  
Meanwhile, the robotic scorpion approached the coast of Japan, and was met by warplanes with Japanese markings.  
  
Inside Scorpnok, the control room rocked with the impact of rockets fired by the planes.  
  
"HA! Try all you might, pathetic humans. you will never hurt us that way!" Galvatron taunted, then turned to the small flabby green Nebulon, Zarak. "They can't hurt us in this, can they?"  
  
"Of course not, Galvatron." He replied.  
  
"Better not take any chances." Galvatron decided. "Cyclonus, Thrust, Dirge, Ramjet. go out there and teach these humans about aerial combat!"  
  
Ramjet turned to his two companions, "Its been a while since we got to have any fun!"  
  
"No fun." Cyclonus interrupted. "We have a job to do. Don't mess it up by showing off." He then jumped out of the hanger door, transformed in mid air, and immediately targeted and destroyed two Japanese fighters with the aid of his Target Master companion.  
  
"We cant let that Nebulon lover score more kills than us!" Thrust declared, and followed Cyclonus out of the hanger.  
  
The other two jets followed suit, into the battle. Although the battle was more of a bloodbath.  
  
****  
  
"Thank you, Please come again!" Katsuto Asahi said after taking the payment the gas he had just put into their car, and a small tip for the excellent job he did cleaning their windshield.  
  
A six foot monster did a happy hop making his way from the inside of the gas station over to the young attendant. "You are needed inside," the monster said.  
  
Katsuto set aside his broom, and rushed inside, where the rest of the attendants were standing in front of a video panel displaying the Mydo central commander, Shinpei Ohkohchi. The commander, was obviously stressed. although many believed that was his usual condition.  
  
"Our air force has been totally wiped out! It was a giant scorpion! This definitely falls under the jurisdiction of the Mysterious Yonder Defense Organization. Go kill it!"  
  
"Everyone to the Skyfish!" Captain Satsuma ordered, and all of the Mydo personnel ran to suit up. He grabbed Asahi on his way, "Not you. I think it would be more convenient if you stayed here and watched the shop. Clean up or something."  
  
Asahi looked crestfallen, but nodded a yes. His eyes were too low to notice the sympathetic glances from his other teammates.  
  
Mostly to himself, Captain Satsuma said "I wish someone had made it easy for me like that." Once more the Captain forgot that he was not really Dan Moroboshi.  
  
Outside, a woman was once again making her way home with her groceries when she saw it. Just like before, the billboard had changed to the strange yellow pattern. The plane was already beginning to pull itself out of the flat painting.  
  
She was prepared, the woman thought, but she didn't have much time. Dropping her groceries, she grabbed the camera she had spent her last several paychecks on. It had a long telephoto lenses, and was able to take 10 rapid snapshots in a second.  
  
The camera's extra long telephoto lens got caught on her long overcoat. In the few seconds it took her to free it, the plane was gone, and the billboard was once again showing its usual image.  
  
She screamed a high pitched squeal in frustration that she had once again failed to obtain proof about the strange things that happened with that billboard.  
  
****  
  
Blitzwing and the Combaticons took great pleasure in clearing the landing zone of tanks, missile trucks and these other trucks that had mounted dish things on them that seemed to be some sort of weapon, but all Blitzwing could tell about it was that they tickled.  
  
Scorpnok unfolded as it settled down in its landing, so that when it was fully on the ground, there was no scorpion, but a Decepticon city.  
  
Galvatron walked out and examined his new compound. "Constructicons, begin building fortifications!"  
  
Scourge rushed up beside his commander, "Galvatron! We have company!" He shouted, pointing up to the Skyfish that was now circling in the sky."  
  
"Ugh." Galvatron said, "What an ugly color scheme that craft has. Ramjet. have fun with it."  
  
With a laugh, Ramjet took to the sky.  
  
On the Skyfish, the Mydo crew looked out in amazement. The giant scorpion was nowhere to be seen, but in its place was an even bigger problem. A veritable city filled with giant robots.  
  
"If I had known we would have had to face this, I would have brought more firepower," the Captain said. "Lets make a pass at them."  
  
The Skyfish avoided Ramjets first pass, mainly because they did not see it coming, as they circled around to make a pass at the nearest robot.  
  
Hook reacted in alarm as rockets from the Skyfish impacted all around him.  
  
The Skyfish rocked as laser blasts impacted on it. "One of them is on our tail."  
  
****  
  
From afar, another viewed the battle as well. He knew something was different about this enemy, one none of his people had ever faced before. He wasn't sure Zearth could do it alone. especially since even the simplest of assignments could often give Zearth problems. He strongly suspected that an intervention, like had seldom been done before would be needed to resolve this threat.  
  
****  
  
Katsuto set aside his broom and contemplated. He had already given the office a good cleaning. he was almost satisfied with the cleanliness of it, but he was beginning to wonder if that was what he really should be doing. His teammates were facing unknown danger. He should be there with them, helping them.  
  
He made his way to the bathroom, and grinned wide showing his extra white teeth, and brought up his electric toothbrush.  
  
And transformed.  
  
****  
  
Ramjet rammed the Skyfish, sending it crashing to the ground. The Mydo crew inside screaming at the window as their flaming aircraft crash-landed into some trees just outside the Decepticon compound. Aside from a few bruises, contusions, concussions, cuts, lacerations, and broken bones, all aboard were fine.  
  
Ultraman Zearth landed between the crashed Skyfish and the rest of the Decepticons.  
  
Galvatron and the other Decepticons looked up at the giant in complete surprise, as he towered over all of them, standing almost as tall as Devastator. The giant was mostly red, with glowing yellow eyes, and accents of silver on his mouth, neck, arms and legs, and he had a glowing blue light at the center of his chest. The rest of the Decepticons didn't wait for the order, they all assumed their preferred combat modes, and circled the giant.  
  
"The fool doesn't even have any weapons!" Galvatron declared. "Eliminate him."  
  
Zearth quickly looked around, no scorpion, but the end result was far worse, he was badly out numbered. He could at least help his odds a little bit. He dropped a capsule, which expanded into a monster, almost as tall as Ultraman Zearth himself. The two of them stood back to back against the Decepticon army.  
  
The Decepticons struck first, a tank blast from Blitzwing, which was followed by another tank blast from Bludgeon. The three jets landed, and opened fire on Ultraman with their arm cannons.  
  
Ultraman Zearth weathered the assault, then raised his hands in a cross pattern, and returned fire. His Shula laser missed completely, but he adjusted the beam while still firing to strike several different Decepticons. They were knocked down, but were by no means out of the fight.  
  
Galvatron transformed into his laser cannon and targeted the giant. but then changed his mind and targeted the monster instead.  
  
He fired. His beam pierced the monster's skin, causing the creature to cry out in pain, then after a second the beam ripped completely through to the other side.  
  
Alarmed, Zearth recalled his capsule monster, and faced the one who had injured it. The laser cannon that had done the damage was most likely the worst of the invading army. If he could defeat him, then there was a good chance the rest of them would return to where they came from.  
  
Zearth leaped over the smaller Decepticons in between him and Galvatron, and landed the hardest punch he could against the robot's chest, even though he had to bend his knees low in order to deliver it.  
  
Galvatron staggered back from the force of the blow. but did not fall, while Zearth grabbed his hand in pain, and hopped around. The blue light on Zearth's chest began to blink red.  
  
When he realized that his chief opponent still stood, Zearth forgot his pain and renewed his attack. He landed several punches to Galvatron's head, and then his best overhead kick to Galvatron's shoulder. Still not satisfied, he hopped back, again crossed his arms and fired his Shula ray at Galvatron, point blank range.  
  
"Are you quite finished?" Galvatron asked once the dust had settled.  
  
Zearth managed to give a look of shock and surprise, even though his face was motionless.  
  
Galvatron punched back, the force of his blow knocking Zearth off his feet and onto his back.  
  
Zearth jumped back to his feet, and resumed his combat pose.  
  
/Zearth./  
  
Ultraman Zearth looked up, acknowledging the call from his superior.  
  
/Do not fight them now! We will devise a plan to confront them later!/  
  
Zearth looked back a Galvatron for a few seconds, then flew up into the air, while the Mydo forces hobbled away to safety as well.  
  
The brief excitement over, Galvatron wasted no time in unpacking the supplies that had been provided by the Quintissons. The entire time, he kept waiting for an attack by the Autobots, or another laughable attack by the humans.  
  
But such an attack did not come. it made him paranoid.  
  
****  
  
Captain Satsuma was far from happy with his orders, it was written all over his face, and on the face of every other member of the Mydo team except for Katsuto who looked utterly defeated, as if he had been personally beaten, and not been busy cleaning all day.  
  
"So far, the Decepticons seem content to stay within the confines of their compound. As long as they do so, you are not to make any move that encourage them to act against us."  
  
The Mydo crew saw it as appeasement at its worse, and it was. But they also knew that on their own they had no chance of victory, even with the rest of the Mydo ships. The problem was that while Mydo was somewhat equipped to deal with various monster attacks, but they weren't equipped to deal with an attack by an army, especially not an army of giant robots.  
  
Sooner or later they knew the decision would not stand. and the robots would be forced out.  
  
****  
  
Hayata and Fuji climbed up the steps surrounding the newly restored Ultraman statue, the original having been devoured by a gold eating monster. The new statue was made of purely cheaper materials. They met Ito, Arashi and the younger Hoshino there as part of their usual gathering. Partly to meet and remember the past time they spent together and partly to remember their friend and commander, the late Captain Mura.  
  
The Science Patrol had been disbanded after their headquarters had been so badly damaged in their last battle against the Zetton. Another agency was set up by the TDF to take their place. just one of a succession of agencies, very few of which proved any more effective than the original Science Patrol.  
  
Even Ultraman was there with them, in spirit, anyway.  
  
None of them were really young any more, each of them, especially Hoshino, was afraid that each meeting may be the last time he would see all of the rest alive. None was more aware of that than Ultraman himself. Even a long lived species such as his was not comfortable with the death of others. That was part of the reason he gave his own life to Hayata after accidentally killing him. He knew he would have to leave Hayata sooner or later, his natural span of life was almost over and it was an unusual responsibility that Ultraman had in being the one who would decide the exact moment Hayata would die.  
  
Each of the surviving members of the Science Patrol felt a wave of nostalgia each time they read about an incident involving any of those successor groups. Wondering how things could have been different if they had been apart of it. The news of Mydo's failure was one such incident. They wanted to feel useful again, despite their age. Another sentiment shared by Ultraman, it had been too long since he had been able to do anything that mattered.  
  
Ultraman had not been forgotten, nor had Ultraseven, Taroh, or any of the others. Zoffy would include them in his plan. but they could not act yet. They would wait and use this new party as bait so that the real threat could be eliminated.  
  
Next. a trip to Chicago. (Gunsmith Cats) 


	3. Chicago Vacation

The Usual disclaimers. I do not own Transformers, Gunsmith Cats, Riding Bean, or anything else that I may refer to in this fanfic. In response to that one review. I do have plans for an Ultraman free for all. but that will be near the end of the story. This story is a drastic change from my usual writing style, which I hope will return for the next part.  
  
Decepticon Invasion of Japan Part: 3 Chicago Vacation.  
  
Hey yeah, I wuz there and led the heroic Decepticon mission to recover the key part in Chicago. get me a energon drink and Ill tell ya all about it.  
  
There we were, standing on a street corner in Chicago, Frenzy and Me, with a bunch of our friends in my pocket, wearing the finest three-piece suits we could threaten the tailor into makin. When we first volunteered for the job, we did it because we wanted a piece of the action, but then once we got to Chicago, we started to think of it like we was on vacation. We had been to Chicago a few times before, usually with Megatron though, this was the first time we were on our own. Actually, the last time we was here was when the Bot Con alliance fell apart back in 2003.  
  
We figured it would be an easy task, see. There was this segment of a Key that Galvatron needed us to grab so he could find this quintison thingy, and we found that the first Key part was in a human musem here in Chicago as part of a traveling exhibit of Japanese artifacts. It didn't make much sense to me though. Anyway, we figured it would be easy, see cause it was held by humans, and we was Transformers. no contest, right? Well, then we remembered that while the Bots may not be welcome in Japan, Chicago USA was a different story. and just Frenzy and Me and the other cassettes were no match for the entire Autobot army. but if we did have to fight em, they woulda regretted it, cause we surely woulda killed at least half of em.  
  
That's when we got the suits, see, so we would fit in, casue we was basically human sized anyway. And then we got to talking. see Frenzy for once got this good idea.  
  
Frenzy says, "Rumble, maybe we should go buy us a souvenir to give Galvatron so we wont go back empty handed if things should go badly."  
  
So I says, "Sure. what should we get im?"  
  
Well, we talks about it for a while, and then Laser Beak and Buzzsaw chime in with their two cents, which was a bit of a surprise seeing as how they wuz in my pocket, and then Ravage has this neat idea. He says we should get Galvatron a gun like what Megatron was before he became, like Galvatron.  
  
So we go to find us a gun shop. only they don't have nothing like what we want, but they tells us about this other place that can customize guns to do whatever ya want em to do. So we goes to where they told us, and we see this rundown looking shop, called Gunsmith Cat. and its got another little sign with an "S" on it that is tacked up to the end of the word Cat. We couldn't really believe that was the place, but we eventually decided to go in anyway. That may have been a mistake. at least the job sure would have gone a lot smother with out em.  
  
Well, we go in, and its like this normal looking shop, with a few shelves, and counters and stuff. Mostly counters, cause humans don't seem to wanna give guns to just anybody. Makes me wonder how they survive basic programming without a way to defend themselves, but then humans are just stupid.  
  
Theres a few guys hangin around the shop, one guy wit almost as square a chin as me is there talking to this blond girl who seems to work there, and this other darker colored woman who wuz obviously the brains of the outfit.  
  
Anyway I found what we wuz looking for. I think it was called a Walther P 38 or something, but it was the closest we had ever seen like what we wanted. So I told the woman, and she said something about paperwork and price an stuff. Then we told her about the stuff the gun would need to really look like Megatron. The shoulder bit, the scope, and the extra bit that makes the barrel longer and not so flashy or something. She said rigging it like that would cost a lot more, so I told her that price was no object. Humans like to hear that phrase, and it was true, cuz we had no intention of payn her anything. I also gave her this other gun called Browning, told her it was stuck and needed fixin. So she looked at it an all, and Browning did a good job of actin broke, so she took it and the other gun to the back and told us when it would be ready.  
  
So we went out on our way, and killed time. Well, me an Frenzy did. Laserbeak and Ravage went out an did some scout work to find out exactly where the Key wuz, and Buzzsaw went to the corner and started makin up some plans for how we wuz gonna steal the Key, but I wuz still the brains out the outfit. Ratbat went out too, but we didn't see much of him. I think he got some bad gas. the liquid kind, cuz when we saw him again he was extra woozy and couldn't even transform without help, much less fly in a straight line.  
  
Well, Buzzsaw's plan was complicated. and it didn't quite go down perfect like, so hes still sulkin in his room even now. Well, we waited a few days, and then we met Browning outside the Gunsmith Cats shop. See, once the gun wuz ready and it was night, he transformed took the gun we were gitin as a gift for Galvatron and met us outside.  
  
Browning also told us that he overheard the two broads talking about how they wuz suspicious of us for our odd weapon request and because they thought we wuz wearin masks. Can you imagin it? I would rather be taken for a member of the robot mob than for a human in a bloomin Halloween costume.  
  
We all laughed about it. What could a few dumb human females do against us Decepticons?  
  
Once we had the gift and Browning back. and Ratbat wandered back to us. Frenzy had to help him transform, an Ratbat puked up on him twice. But then we figured it was time to do our job. Buzzsaw figured that the best way to keep the Autobots from getin involved was to make it look like a human robbery, or did I mention that already? Doesn't matter. So Ravage looked up this human driver to help us get to and from the museum where the key wuz.  
  
Well we got there, and the driver wuz this really big fella, bigger than me even, and he wore this all black coat n stuff and had a real nice looking red car that woulda made a great stunticon.  
  
We got to the museum, and I wanted to use my pile drivers to knock the walls down and break open the cases an stuff, but Buzzsaw wouldn't let me. Frenzy had this great idea to shatter all the windows on the block an we could get it easy that way, but I wouldn't let him for the same reason Buzzsaw wouldn't let me. an that it would attract too much attention.  
  
So, Buzzsaw used his beak to cut through a window and carried us inside in our cassette modes while our driver and his car waited outside. He set us down on a bench and transformed to join us, cuz then it was Ravages turn. He transformed and picked us up in his mouth. We used him to move around inside the museum cuz his stealth abilities would let him get past the alarm systems no sweat. He brought us up to the case that held the key, and he opened his mouth allowing Buzzsaw to transform and cut through that glass case too, and pulled the key out. Then Ravage carried us and the key out in his mouth, and we got out the Museum without setting off any alarms.  
  
Laserbeak had stayed outside to keep watch, an he spotted this other car, I think it was a Viper or something. It also woulda made a good Stunticon. But the drivers of that car, Laserbeak said it was the broads from the gun shop, an they had called the cops on us.  
  
So we saw them outside the Museum, and we all transformed into our robot modes an made for the car.  
  
One of the stupid humans stood up and shot at me. Actually, I still got the dings, see? But it didn't even slow us down. We got inta the car, and it took off. Well all of us but Laserbeak did, he stayed in the air, but he kept his distance cause the bird was too chicken a bein hit by dem bullets.  
  
Well, soon as we wuz in da car, that Bean driver guy floored the gas and we too off like a shot, but that lady in da Viper was right behind us.  
  
It wuz really weird. We wuz tryin to get away from da lady. and da cops, but the closer she got da more it thrilled our driver. Frenzy tried ta take a shot at her, but he messed up the shot and made guarantees about our getting away so we shouldn't shoot. He seemed very persistent about that.  
  
Well, there's no figuring humans.  
  
Then we started seein cops and hearing their sirens. but Laserbeak melted the road in front of them. The cop cars all hit it an crashed. too bad he didn't do the same to the other car.  
  
Then that car got passed by this other car that was blue with blue flames on da sides of it.  
  
When Bean saw it, he started swearing under his breath callin da driver a dat one a fag an other things. It did manage to get past the girls in the Viper, and started gainin on us, an shoutin stuff like "Hot red thing," an "Just one date" an that kinda stuff.  
  
An then another cop car came up and started following the blue car, but it seemed more interested in stopping the blue car than us. Da cop car wuz kinda weird too cuz it was like a Lamborghini or something, and I had never seen a cop version of that before.  
  
Bean turned to us and said, "Ok, that one you can shoot," so Frenzy an me each leaned out a window and opened fire with our lasers.  
  
We hit it dead on, an it crashed, an the cop car crashed into it. But the weird thing about them is that while I know every Autobot on sight, I had never seen anything like them before, an I was pretty sure I saw them transformin as they crashed.  
  
But the woman in da other car avoided the crash an kept chasin after us, but we still couldn't shoot it.  
  
Laserbeak finally got up the nerve ta do somthin about the car, but instead of shooting it from a long way off, da dumb bird tries ta swoop in close. Da smaller woman sees Laserbeak swoopin down and throws something up at im. It makes a loud noise and a lota light, an scares da dumb chicken away again.  
  
Finally I got fed up wit it. They wuz only humans after all. So I jumped outa da car, and stood there in the road watchin the other car comin at me. Then I activated my pile drivers and pounded the road, sending a shockwave down the street. Their car hits da shockwave an goes flyin an crashes.  
  
I go to walk up to em to finish them off personal like, but by that time, Bean in his red car had doubled back, an he grabs me by da shoulder. It's a really strong grip that stopped my movin, so I'm thinking this guy aint human. But he says, "Time's waisting, we need to go." Or something like that. So I decide ta let da girls live an we drive off an are home free.  
  
So once we made it to the coast, we just flew back here to Japan, an gave Galvatron the key he wanted us ta get and his present. An what did he have ta say when we got back?  
  
Did he say "Thanks" or "Well done?"  
  
No.  
  
He jus looked at us and da key, an said, "What took you so long?" an went into a rant about us bein gone for a week an it shoulda just taken a hour or something. but he wuznt there, he doesn't know what its like out on our own, does he?  
  
Course. uh. I would never say anything like that about our beloved leader. Nope. Not me. Not at all. Love da guy, yep I do.  
  
Hey, Cyclonus. how long ya been sittin over there?  
  
Next time. return to my usual writing style. And. Excell Saga! 


	4. Excell Saga pt 1

Decepticon Invasion of Japan part 4

Authors note: This chapter has proven to be much much more difficult to write than I had expected… and while it still isn't finished, I thought you would enjoy taking a look at what has been written so far for chapter 4: Excell Saga.

"I, Koshi Rikdo, do not give permission to turn Excell Saga into a Transformers Crossover spoof."

--Koshi Rikdo—

But then, if I had permission or any form of ownership of either Excell Saga, Transformers, or anything else I should happen to make reference to in this story, then it wouldn't really be a fanfic.

--isoner—

A massive planet crossed the vastness of space. A planet moving of its own accord, gold in color with mountain ranges resembling spikes, with a ring encircling it, attached at the poles, and at the "front" of the planet was a gaping maw capable of devouring smaller planets, but the one overwhelming feature of this planet eating planet was that it was simply too cute!

On a nearby planet populated by short, cute pikachu wannabe like creatures, the citizens looked up at the approaching planet in cute horror.

"Puchuu." (Look, its Puchucron!)

"Puchuu puchuu?" (Shit, what are we gonna do now?)

"Puchuu?" (Doesn't that line come later?)

"Puchuu puchuu puchuu!" (We may as well declare ourselves innocent, cause were all gonna die.)

A man dramatically leaped onto the balcony where the Puchuu were having that conversation, he was dressed in a tacky suit and tie, almost identical to that of Lupin III-- the television series, not the Castle of Cagliostro green jacket. Aside from the painfully colorful outfit, the most striking feature of the man was his afro haircut.

"Have no fear, Nabeshin is here to save the day!"

Another man, obviously an immigrant worker, was having a bit of trouble climbing up onto the balcony. "Don't forget, Pedro here too," the immigrant worker whined. "Are we gonna beat up all the cute yellow Puchuus again? Pyon."

"No Pedro!" Nabeshin dramatically exclaimed. "In our continuing fight against That Man, we have come here to defeat…" He pointed up at the Puchuu rip off of Unicron even more dramatically, "THAT!"

Pedro looked up helplessly at the approaching cute planet of death and destruction, taking the laser gun that Nabeshin pulled out of his afro for him to use. The longer he looked at it, the larger the planet became, the more hopeless the situation seemed. Pedro took a deep breath before screaming his signature line.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lord Ilpalazzo sat on his throne, impassively studying the servants of ACROSS, who waited for him to give them today's assignment. While studying them, he delicately painted the bridge windows onto a model of the Space Battleship Yamato that was sitting on a table in front of him.

Excel, Hyatt and a mop and bucket stood at attention obediently waiting for instructions, completely oblivious to Ilpalazzo's preoccupation with the model in front of him. The dog Menchi was not at attention, instead he fidgeted about, not use to being in the ACROSS command center, especially not in the context of a fanfic where contract obligations do not apply and could result in his being eaten at any time by his starving room mates.

"HAIL ILPALAZZO!!!" Excel and Hyatt said, accompanied by a "mew mew" from the dog Menchi that few people really think is a dog, as he looks more like a cat or maybe half dog half gerbil or some other strange combination, but it is hardly important to this story.

Ilpalazzo set down his brush and stood, his cape and excessive shoulder pads adding an unnecessary appearance of drama and villainy to his movements. "It has come to my attention—Oh, Yes Ilpalazzo, great Ilpalazzo, Nothing can escape—that a race of giant robots have—your ever watchful gaze, why don't you ever gaze at me like that—set up camp just outside F city, F prefecture.—I mean you can look at me anyway you want to, Ill even pose for you, is this going to be one of those—and it does not fit in with our plans for another army to take over the city—type of fanfics, I mean can we get all naked and dirty doing all those kind of things that are illegal to do, photograph, or write about because its so wrong but everyone likes to write stories about it anyway—before ACROSS."

Lord Ilpalazzo's eye twitched slightly as a small silk rope gently lowered next to him. He gave it a slight tug and Excel found herself (once again) falling into a near bottomless pit.

Ilpalazzo spoke again in his calm monotone manner, a direct opposite of Excel's high pitched word a minute method of speaking. "Please Excel, when you talk over me like that it makes this fanfic very difficult to read, much less write. Therefore, Hyatt, you shall once again have to brief Excel on the operation after she calms down.

Water splashed out from the pit, showing that Excel had finally reached the bottom. As usual this was accompanied by her barely heard commentary. "What the hell are these shark things? They have maces on their tails and more teeth than a piranha! There totally made of metal too, where does the great and powerful Ilpalazzo get the things he keeps putting in this pit. If I keep running in a circle I bet I can make a whirlpool to wipe them out as I make it to the top…" her voice would have continued droning on forever, but Ilpalazzo signaled for the trap door to close back.

"As I was saying," Ilpalazzo resumed, "Giant robots have set up camp just outside F city, F prefecture, I need you and Excel to drive these giant robots away so they know the power of ACROSS is too great for them to overcome, leaving the planet to us. I don't care how you do it, but I expect great things from you as you are more efficient than Excel."

Hyatt looked to be on the verge of death, but that was nothing new as she crossed that verge on many different occasions each week. "Yes Lord Ilpalazzo."

In the Decepticon camp, Galvatron flinched as another explosion disrupted his peace, this time it was a communication tower that fell, innocent victim of bored Decepticon soldiers who were unable to control themselves. It was one thing when it was directed at the enemy or was out of sight, but not when it disturbed his thinking. Time to kill some birds then.

"Apeface, Hun-Grr get over here now!" Galvatron ordered, and two of the Decepticons that were running amok disengaged themselves and approached.

"One of the locator segments is located in F city. You two take the Terrorcons and recover the component. Go have fun in the city, and stop destroying the BASE!!"

The two transformers looked at each other and shared a sinister grin, although it was hard to see the one behind Apeface's face plate. Apeface transformed into a jet and flew off to the city, while Hun-Grr summoned his Terrorcons and set off at a more leisurely pace.

Dr. Kabapu reattached his mustache before turning to brief his assembled troops on their next assignment. Dr. Kabapu himself was dressed to resemble Dr. Nambu of Gatchaman fame… or maybe not.

"Giant robots are invading my city, and it is up to us to put a stop to it."

Iwata, Watanabe, Sumiyoshi, and Yatsuya all began to fidget… they knew that it was just a matter of time before Dr. Kabapu brought back out the ugly uniforms he liked them to wear for field work. The horrible suits were plainly surplus from some unproduced Power Rangers show. The blue haired android Ropponmatsu and the younger overactive android Ropponmatsu did not display any additional emotion at the news, just calm from one and eagerness from the second.

Outside the window Dr Kabapu was looking out a futuristic jet ejected its pilot, then transformed into a robot… the pilot then transformed and became the head of the robot. The robot then landed and began walking down the street.

"Yes, there is no time to loose, we must defend the city now." Kabapu whipped out the dreaded suitcase with the multi colored uniforms. "These new suits have been specially designed to work with a new weapon designed by Gojo Shioji."

The humans all groaned, both at the thought of having to wear the suits again, but also of wondering what sort of weapon the lolita loving Shioji would come up with.

"Well, do you have any questions before we begin?"

They all started to raise a hand and open their mouths to begin speaking when Kabapu pushed a button causing the floor to drop away and the team members fell… each landed in a different padded seat, suddenly wearing their own uniform.

"What the Hell! Why do we have to do this again, and why is my seat too small?" Iwata asked.

"Weren't we suppose to have a lot more dialogue before we got to this point?" asked Watanabe.

I think the author is trying to rush to the end, Sumiyoshi added.

"Forget all that," Matsuya interrupted while trying to work her controls, "Why wont these robots work?"

"You have to speak the activation code into your watches," Dr Kabapu shouted down at them from the top of their cockpit chutes.

"Oh no," Iwata said.

Not that, Sumiyoshi said.

Ropponmatsu broke the debate, enthusiastically shouting out the activation code for her robot. "Little A, its Show Time!"

Apeface, Hun-Grr, Blot, Cutthroat, Rippersnapper, and Sinnertwin all met at a street intersection near the center of F city. Apeface and Hun-Grr looked at each other while trying not to look the other in the eye.

"So, uh…" Apeface began, "Do you have any idea where this thing is we are looking for?"

"Nope, he didn't tell me either," Hun-Grr answered, "Just somewhere in the city."

"Lets destroy it all then," Blot put in.

"Yeah, we can find it easy once nothing is standing," Sinnertwin added.

"All right, sure, sounds like a plan," Hun-Grr said, immediately turning to punch a hole in the nearest building. He transformed into his two headed dragon mode, each head taking a bite until the building collapsed. The dragon stomped on the rubble until it was nothing but powder. "Not in this one," he decided, a small part of him wondering if maybe there was a flaw in the plan, but what did it matter, it would be fun.

Apeface transformed into his ape mode and climbed the next nearest skyscraper and began destroying it from the top floor down. Blot, Cutthroat, Rippersnapper, and Sinnertwin each took a different street wreaking random destruction as they went.

Excel and Hyatt walked together down the sidewalk, finally Hyatt asked the question they were both thinking, "How are we going to defeat them, Senior?"

"Hmm…" Excell said, doing her best to think… "I know, lets go shopping!"

"You want to buy explosives at the mall?"

"Yes! No, wait, I don't think they sell that there… Hmm… lets try a garage sale, never know what you will find at a garage sale, especially when we need something coincidental to happen to advance the story," Excel concluded.

"Brilliant idea, Senior Excel," Hyatt said with enough of a hint of excitement to threaten to kill her.

In the distance, another skyscraper collapsed into dust, which Excel and Hyatt were apparently oblivious to, as well as the fleeing people.

"Hey! There is a garage sale over there!" Excel declared, pointing to a sign across the street.

"What luck, Senior!" Hyatt said, on the verge of death.

Just then, a blue colored Puchuu stepped out in front of Excell holding out a small glowing energon goodie. "Puchuu," it said, which translated to "Ba weep Grana weep mini bong."

"I don't know what the hell you are saying!" Excell shouted at it, killing it instantly with a red laser ax that inexplicably appeared on her hand.

The Puchuu's face went from cute to that of an old robot as it's corpse faded into the background.


End file.
